An Angel in Silence

It has been a year now since Yvonne lost her speech "again".

We just notice that she gradually have had trouble uttering words. But she's very good in replicating sounds [snore, sneeze, and some funny noises with her mouth]. She also tried to imitate my whistle though it is still a work in progress.

We have already asked her neurologist few months ago about what could be the cause. Few tests were made. Based on her EEG, there are still some siezure spike on her brain. Especially on the left side where language and speech are subserved by the brain. Her meds were increased to the maximum. Her doctor said she's doing great [having Depakote, Keppra 500 & 250] in such dose. We just have to be wary of symptoms like nose bleeding and the like. As of this writing, Thanks God!, no signs of that.

While waiting for some improvements, I made some inquiries [emails and phone calls] from some speech therapy centers. I never thought it was this hard to find one. Most center do not have avaiable slots so we're still on the waiting list. We're still in search for a speech therapist.

For the mean time, we're trying to motivate her to utter sounds, do some facial massage and stimulate her senses. Well, its still best to have someone who specialized on this.

In God's time, we'll find one! Aja! :)


   "We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence.... We need silence to be able to touch souls."
   ~Mother Teresa

My little angel :)

Yvonne meets Fr. Mario :D

It was a wonderful experience to be present in the healing mass of Fr. Mario Sobrejuanite at the Megamall Megatrade Hall 1.

We always watch his Tv Mass at Studio 23 every 9 o'clock in the morning. Even though we already attended a six o'clock mass in St. Michael's Parish, it seems like my Sunday is not complete without hearing his homily.

We went there last Sunday, August 10, 2008, with Yvonne. The mass celebration was so solemn with the choir singing and dancer dancing. After the mass, Yvonne and I went there in front, near the altar, to be blessed by Fr. Mario. I carried her even though she's sleeping that time. When Fr. Mario saw Yvonne, he prayed over her. As if wanting to show off, Yvonne pulled her back up and lifted her head against me. She was very happy as Jesus touched her through Fr. Mario!

I thank God for this wonderful experience.

Only her eyesight was lost not her

Yvonne had a repeated VEP or visual evoked potential at St. Luke’s Hospital to check if her eyes can respond to visual stimuli such as flashing of lights. And just before Yvonne's 5th birthday (last Jan 16, 2008), it was already confirmed by her eye doctor that she could no longer see. Even eyeglasses won’t be much of a help. Right now she can only visually perceive light and dark.

I was not surprised. I already knew that since last December 2006 after her last operation. It was due to the brain pressure when her shunt was pulled out that her optic nerve was damage.

At first I was really hurt and cried a little. I only have this feeling that she cannot see us anymore but still hoping that eventually her eyesight will be back to normal like her speech. As what the saying says “The truth hurts but it will set you free.”

Right now I have already accepted the fact and enjoying every moment with my little angel Yvonne. Only her eyesight was lost not her. That’s a lot to be thankful for, isn’t it?


Want to know the secret why I have a better outlook in life? It’s because I start my day with a smile. Yvonne wakes up every morning with a big smile, as if very thankful for another day given to her by our Creator. This is because of my angel. :)

Yvonne has a good memory...

As we all know, our brain performs an incredible number of tasks:

• It controls body temperature, blood pressure, heart rate and breathing.
• It accepts a flood of information about the world around you from your various senses (eyes, ears, nose, etc.).
• It handles physical motion when walking, talking, standing or sitting.
• It lets you think, dream, reason and experience emotions.

Only just few months ago when I realized what Yvonne’s Nuero Surgeon has always been telling us. This is why they do not give much hope for Yvonne. They thought she will not last this long.

Here’s why:


The last image is what we always see in her CT Scans since birth. There's a thin line of brain tissues pressed outwardly by CSF. Any additional pressure will be very fatal.

But amazingly, she was able to do many things.

• She can now count 1 to 20.
• She was able to memorize songs like Bahay Kubo, Twinkle twinkle Little star, First stanza of How Did you know, and may others.
• Her speech is clear. She’s not “bulol”
• She can now pick her nose (hahaha!)
• And more…

Despite of her situation, Yvonne has a good memory.

She is now turning 5 on January 2008. Hopefully we can send her to special school next year. And I wish I could be a full time mom to look up to her C”,)

Have a happy long weekend !!! God Bless ! =)

The Healing Mass at Mall of Asia

We've heard about these healing masses months ago. Na feature na din sya sa Jessica Sojo Report. Kinuha pa nga namin yung mga contact numbers nila kasi gusto naming puntahan kaso walang time.

Last June, when we are watching Studio 23 Sunday TV Mass, we saw Fr. Mario Sobrejuanite. Maganda sya mag homily, palabiro, pero may mapupulot kang aral. Every end ng mass inaannounce nya na may healing mass daw si Fr. Fernando Suarez na gaganapin sa MOA on July 30, Monday at 3pm. Fr. Fernando Suarez is a very known Healing priest, sa Canada sya naka base. Pero pumupunta punta sya dito. Natuwa ako kasi baka eto na yung chance naming makapunta. So we set the date.

I’ve never been to Mall of Asia, sabi ko kay Mannix puntahan namin before mag Monday, so July 29, Sunday, pumunta kami just to know kung saan yung event. Sa Music Hall daw sa Entertainment Mall.

Monday, 7:00 am pa lang nakaligo na si Yvonne. By 9am nakaalis na kami ng bahay. Dumating kami sa MOA mga 10 mins before 10am. Madami na din ang tao… akala nga naming mauuna pa kami… pero tama lang ang dating namin. Umabot pa kami sa first 100 ng first batch. So pumila kami. Tapos may nag sabi sa amin na yung mga mag papa heal daw na naka wheel chair or Strollers, I papriority daw so iba ang ticket. Binigyan kami ng White ticket, isa sa akin at isa kay Yvonne. Sila mannix, byanan ko saka yaya ni Yvonne pumila sa red ticket. Then after namin makakuha ng ticket sabi pede daw muna kami magikot ikot at kumain ng lunch. Balik na lang kami by 12pm. Sa Center Stage Cinema na daw kami pumunta kasi magpapapasok na sila nun. So kumain na muna kami pero mga 12:30 na kami nakabalik. Pag akyat namin, ang haba na ng pila. Gosh.

Pila kami. Sabi ng mga nag aassist pila lang daw yun ng red Ticket. Sabi namin “San po ang pila ng white ticket?” “Naku mamaya pa yan papapasukin mga 3pm pa.” Ganon?! Naniwala naman ako, so tumabi muna kami. Pero ndi ako mapalagay. Sabi priority daw, saka 3pm ang start ng mass. Nag tanong kami ulit. Ganon pa din ang sinasabi nila, pila lang daw yun ng red Ticket. Naku! Kawawa naman si Yvonne, antagal naming inintay tong araw na toh tapos ndi makakaattend, ang aga pa naman naming dumating kanina mauna lang sa pila tapos ganito din pala. Mahigpit sila. Organized. Pero ndi yata lahat well informed.

Pero I really had this feeling na may mali eh. Pumunta kami ni Yvonne sa unahan ng pila. Tinanong ko kung san po ang pila ng White Ticket. Kasi ang sabi sa amin priority naman daw sila. Ndi naman sa nag papaimportante kami pero kung ndi lang sana ganon yung sinabi sa amin kanina eh di sana nakakuha kami ng red ticket. Kinulit ko yung mga nag aasist ng pila sa unahan. Then sinabi ko na yun yung pag kakainform sa amin kanina. Then sabi ni Mannix, cge mag red ticket na lang kami swap kami para lang makapasok si Yvonne. Thank God! May lumapit sa amin at sinabi pede na pumasok ang white ticket kasi priority yun. I really almost cried. I was relieved.

Pag pasok namin sa loob dun kami nakapila sa likod ng orchestra. Malapit lapit na kami sa dulo buti na lang nakaabot kami sa cutoff. Nakatayo lang ako pero okei lang. 1pm naka pasok na din sila mannix. Dun na sila sa pangatlong hilera.

Andaming tao puno ang loob ng cinema. All ages. From babies to oldies. May mga ndi makalakad, may mga naka stretchers pa nga daw. May mga bata na may Cerebral palsy, ung katabi ko baby din pero may butas ang ngala ngala. Ang hirap tandaan nung term sa sakit na yun. Wala ako nakita na same situation kay Yvonne.

All set na, si Fr. Suarez nalang inaantay. While waiting we were interviewed by a staff of ABC 5. Dun kasi yung Sunday TV Mass ni Fr. Suarez every Sunday at 1pm. Tinanong kung pano ba namin nalaman yung event, then questions about faith. Tapos kinukuhanan si Yvonne ng camera. Wow! Baka makita kami sa TV. Ehehehe.

At 3pm, Dumating na si Fr. Suarez at nag start na din ang mass. By his words, you will feel the Lord’s presence. And at the end of the mass he conducted a general healing prayer for all. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam. Enough na yun sa akin. I know naman na HE’s always with us, guiding and protecting us, and leading us to the right path towards Him. Pero may narealize ako, sabi ni Father “Ask and it will be given to you.” Though, God knows our heart’s desire, He waits for us to ask for it. And we should be hopeful that it would be given to us in His time.

After ng mass, nag start na din ang healing, past 4pm na din. Inuna na yung pila namin since ndi makakaakyat sa stage yugn mga naka wheel chair and strollers, kaya pinaprioritize. Yung mga naka wheel chairs pinapatayo ni Father after nyang hawakan yung mga parts na may sakit. And you will hear their testimonials. And you won’t believe na eto yung mga ndi makalakad kanina na nakaayat pa ng stage. At last, it’s our turn. He touches Yvonne while saying a prayer, then Mannix and me, then me and Yvonne. It’s a wonderful feeling. I was teary eyed. I know God touches us that minute through Fr. Suarez.

After the healing session, we went home with a whole spirit and hopeful that everything will be fine and will happen according to His plan for us.

It has been a long day for us. But I don’t feel tired. It’s worth all the effort.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." —Matthew 7:7–8

God wants us to come to him with our needs and desires. He tells us that if we would only ask and have faith, we would receive.

Lets make our life simple and happy :)

I believe everything happened for a reason. And everything happened because they are destined to happen. Though we still do not understand why, I am sure it is preparing us for something. Whatever trials we’ve been through it should not make us a less but a better person. We should learn from it. It should make us stronger.

Let us look at the bright side. As R.H. Schuller says, “Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost.” We have to stay positive whatever problem we may have. People have different burdens. Don’t ever think that yours is worst than the other. Don’t ever think you can’t handle them. Because in every trial, there’s always an answer, there’s always a helping hand and there’s always a lesson to learn.

It tests our faith and our whole being. The way we handle our problems reflects who we are. So why worry if you know things will be resolved when the right time comes. We just have to deal with it.

We may not have all our prayers answered. But a better plan is beginning to happen. We may not notice it because we are too focus on what we do not have instead on enjoying what we have. In result, we feel bad and unfulfilled. If people are only contented on what was given to them maybe life is simple and happy. But we are just human and we want everything else other people have because they are happy. We feel that if we have that “something” we will be happy. But we are not because we’re only human.

I can say that I am happy now. I have my Family, my husband, Mannix, and my daughter, Yvonne.

Mannix, of all people on the Internet, and I have met in a strange time on my life. I believe that we are destined to have each other. That was the time when I asked Him of the right person and he just popped out of nowhere. He’s a blessing in disguise and my knight in shining armor. He may not be the ideal guy but I can say he’s the perfect man for me.

Yvonne does not have everything but she have something that makes me happy. I do not wish her to be what she can’t be. I am just simply happy she’s there to make my day complete. I hear people say, “if only she can …”, If only I had the same thinking I’ll be very sad for her as a mother. But I don’t see it that way. She was given to us not to make our life difficult but to help us be closer to Him, to teach us to be humble, to help us see little miracles in life, and to make us realize how blessed we are to have her.

I also have a lot of things in mind. I have a lot of to-do list. I have a lot of plans and wants. But I have learned that things will just happen when the right time comes. We do not have to rush things. We should live one day at a time. And we should treasure what we have now and make the most out of it. Always count your blessings. Always look at the bright side. Be positive. That’s what I am applying in my life. Life is great. It is a gift from God.

Heaven's very special child

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
"It's time again for another birth,"
said the angels to the Lord above.
"This special child will need much love,

His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show
And He'll require extra care
From the folks he meets way down there.

He may not run or laugh or play ;
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please, Lord, find parents who
will do a special job for You.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from Heaven
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven's very special child

Thinking 'bout my purpose...

I woke up one day thinking about my purpose. I know everything that happened is well planned. I know that every little thing that is happening today is for the better. I know God has a plan for me. I may not know it right now. I may not understand it right now. But I believe and whole-heartedly trust in Him. Because He knows what’s best for everyone.

Flying colors

After graduating from high school, I made a promise, when I finish college I will make my parents be proud of me. I want them to feel that all their hard works were not wasted. Six semesters had past, I really did my best. But on my last year, I don’t know why, but I lost my focus. (Is it really I? Or my instructor who had the guts of failing the whole class for not passing a one-time oral exam to fill up her absences?) It’s graduation day when I realized, I’ve broken a promise. I could have been marching up that stage with flying colors. Regrets filled up my soul.

What can I do? So I let bygones be bygones. Later I realized landing on a good job earlier than I thought. He may not have given me what I wanted most but He gave me what I will love doing in the long run. Maybe that’s what He wanted me to realize. :)

Destiny

I am one of the so-called “Stupid in Love”. Let’s just say my past relationship was not healthy. My mind tells me to let go but my heart is still holding on. Until my whole being gave up, so I stopped struggling and go with the flow. Then I told Him, “Ok! I know you know better, so let Your Will be done.”

Time passed by. And out of nowhere there pop a message from a stranger. And that stranger changes everything. That stranger heals my broken heart and made me realized that there’s nothing wrong with me and it’s time to move on.

That stranger ends up being my hubby.

God has his own timetable. We just have to wait.

My Angel

I cried the whole night when I learned about the condition of my first-born child. So many questions asked with no answers. Why me? What did I do? Why her? But then I realized that one time I asked God to remind me of him always. May be this is His way of doing that. So I kept that in mind.

Trials were given to make us stronger. It's there for us to learn to appreciate every little thing that was given to us.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, “No, her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary”;

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how much you already have.

I may not have an ideal life, but I am contented with what I have. And I am happy.