Yvonne has a good memory...

As we all know, our brain performs an incredible number of tasks:

• It controls body temperature, blood pressure, heart rate and breathing.
• It accepts a flood of information about the world around you from your various senses (eyes, ears, nose, etc.).
• It handles physical motion when walking, talking, standing or sitting.
• It lets you think, dream, reason and experience emotions.

Only just few months ago when I realized what Yvonne’s Nuero Surgeon has always been telling us. This is why they do not give much hope for Yvonne. They thought she will not last this long.

Here’s why:


The last image is what we always see in her CT Scans since birth. There's a thin line of brain tissues pressed outwardly by CSF. Any additional pressure will be very fatal.

But amazingly, she was able to do many things.

• She can now count 1 to 20.
• She was able to memorize songs like Bahay Kubo, Twinkle twinkle Little star, First stanza of How Did you know, and may others.
• Her speech is clear. She’s not “bulol”
• She can now pick her nose (hahaha!)
• And more…

Despite of her situation, Yvonne has a good memory.

She is now turning 5 on January 2008. Hopefully we can send her to special school next year. And I wish I could be a full time mom to look up to her C”,)

Have a happy long weekend !!! God Bless ! =)

God's Miracle

Our Faith was again put into a test.


Last October 2006, Yvonne was confined for 72 days for shunt revision-turned-replacement due to infection. This is very traumatic on her part since she lost her speech and vision.

Before that, we thought everything would be according to what we planned. We already scheduled her for a pedia development on November 2006.

We thought we could send her to a special school and for therapy after that because she’s already 4yrs old and doing very well.

But the saying says, “Expect the unexpected.”

We went home, after almost 3 months of confinement, starting all over again.


The doctors said her brain was damaged by the infection and they are not sure if she will recover from it. The brain will heal itself, maybe after 6 months, after a year or maybe not anymore.

She had signs of cerebral palsy; she drools because of her locked jaw (so I prepared blended food supplement for her every morning); she was unable to follow things with her eyes; she can’t talk nor smile nor even cry; she had no muscle control (she bites her lips most of the time, her hands were stiff and she can’t move it on her own.)

There was a long period of silence in our house. Sometimes, we watched her videos and tears keeps falling from our eyes. We missed her cry, her laughter, and her voice. We are looking forward to the day she laughs again.



Sometimes, there are many questions running at the back of my mind. What went wrong? Why did it all have to happen? Why her? Should we sue her surgeon and the hospital for medical malpractice? Do we need to do anything legally? Should we send her for a therapy for a faster recovery? I ask the Lord if I need to do anything? HE answered back “No! Just submit to my plan for you. If you will just trust me everything will be just fine.”


“There are things in LIFE that we question a lot, but little do we realize that answers come when we stop asking... and that's what we call FAITH...”


God really know how to send His message to us. That time, I saw some verses from the bible, saying something like we should trust the doctors for God has given them the talent to cure the wounded and the sick. I realized, maybe things must really happen for His plan for others to happen. I also realized, maybe it was just an eye opener for us. We maybe become too proud about ourselves that’s why He makes us kneel before Him and taught us to always be humble.

I once thought that contentment is the key to happiness but I was wrong. If we were so fulfilled with what we have, we might not need any help from Him. But God wanted us to need Him. He doesn’t want us to forget Him. So God gives us trials to remind us of Him, to remind us of His great love for us.


Being positive on everything that happened, I still think of all the good things that have happened during that time. She was alive. Her lungs were ok (the doctor said the lungs may fail as a side effect of anesthesia). We went home with her without NGT. The doctors removed it before we were discharged since she can already swallow her food (a blended milk supplement with boiled vegetables and fresh fruits). We also met so many people, patients, parents, nurses and doctors. Most of all, we felt closer to the Lord.

As days passed by, little by little, we saw some development on her. She can now eat her regular soft diet. She was able to control her hands. She already can point her nose, teeth and tongue when asked. She can now smile. Even her doctors were amazed with her.


But just last May 2007, due to sepsis, she was confined again at pediatric ICU for a week. Her heart rate and BP was dropping. The doctors didn’t know why. All kinds of test were done. She was referred to different medical fields; Pediatrics; Infectious; Pulmonary; Neurologist; Neuro-Surgeon; Ophthalmologist; but they still can’t find the main cause.

For the first few days, I was confident that everything would be fine. I trust the Lord fully. But maybe I was not praying too hard. The doctors admitted that they couldn’t do anything for Yvonne. There’s a possibility that her heart will just stop beating and they can’t do anything about it.

But God really knows how to make us kneel before Him. I cried a lot, thinking of the fact that we might loose her. That’s the time I finally submitted fully to Him. Not just praying for the healing of Yvonne but I finally gave her up to Him. Whatever is His plan for her and for us, I just let HIS will be done in our lives. If He decides to take Yvonne, we will be happy and will accept it. But if he would only give us another chance to prove to Him that we can be better parents to her, we will make the most out of it.

My husband, Mannix, was in New Zealand that time for training and project assignment. He was also worried and decided to go back.

As if God have showed us a miracle, Yvonne’s BP and heart rate have improved. Praise God! For He is really the Best doctor!

The doctors were still puzzled but rather send us home. Even before discharged, they still can’t explain why and what causes her BP to dropped. This is the first time we heard about the DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Letter as one of her doctor suggested us to sign. He said they might not know what to do when this happen again.

As soon as we got home, as if nothing happened, Yvonne showed us a big smile. She was happy she’s home. And we are too! That day she started to laugh again and even recovered her speech gradually. Amazing isn’t it?? Praise GOD for he is really great!


After 3 months, just last August 2007, she was again confined due to pneumonia at pediatric ICU. She was intubated for 7 days to help her breathe. The doctor said, due to her condition (Spina Bifida & Hydrocephalus & scoliosis), her lungs collapsed as they have little space to expand.


Our hospital stay was extended up to 3 weeks since the doctors can’t wean the oxygen support for Yvonne. Tough she was generally okay, no fever, no cold, no seizure, etc; they still cannot remove it since her oxygen was dropping based on the oximeter. Her lungs were still clogged by the pneumonia and she was having a hard time breathing.

Her doctor again gives us papers to sign, a letter of consent for Euthanasia or Mercy Killing. He explained to us that this is just an option for us and it is still up to us if we wanted to sign it. Since Yvonne was then supported with oxygen and we all know about her condition, this is just to shorten her sufferings. Another option they gave us is that we can go home with oxygen.

It was really hard for us to accept this fact but if it is really HIS will then who are we to disobey?? My husband and I talked about it openly and we cried together.

It has been four years. She gave us so much joy. We know time like this will come sooner or later. We just have to be ready. But only GOD has the right to decide whether to take her life or not. We decided not sign any consent. If we are to bring her home with oxygen, it’s fine with us as long as she is comfortable.


The next day, my husband went to Bambang to look for an oxygen tank. We also met the brother-in-law of my colleague that works in CIGI so we can rent a hassle-free oxygen concentrator. But God depicts another miracle; Yvonne can now breathe on her own and showed her doctor how strong she is. When the doctors saw her, they immediately send us home with two thumbs up!

Also during this time, Yvonne has cried again after ten months. This only means that her brain has improved a lot. And it takes two hospitalizations to bring these all back.

We were drained financially, emotionally and spiritually, but God has provided for us. With the help of all the people around us for support, we have survived.


We really felt how much God loves us. And this only proves that whatever is lost, as long as you trust God and hold on to Him until the end, He will give it back to you, even tripled. I have also learned that we don’t have to question why things happen. Lets just trust Him. His plan is better than ours. These trials make us a stronger person in preparation for His coming. :)

We know this will not be the last. But we don’t have to worry because when God is with us we can endure everything :) May God Bless us all !!!

Prayers of the Sick

For a Sick Person

O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, our only help in time of need: We humbly beseech thee to behold, visit and relieve thy sick servant N. for whom our prayers are desired. Look upon him with the eyes of thy mercy; comfort him with a sense of thy goodness; preserve him from the temptations of the enemy; and give him patience under his affliction. In thy good time, restore him to health, and enable him to lead the residue of his life in thy fear, and to thy glory; and grant that finally he may dwell with thee in life everlasting; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For Recovery from Sickness

O God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of sufferers: Mercifully accept our prayers, and grant to your servant N. the help of your power, that hisAmen. sickness may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

or this

O God of heavenly powers, by the might of your command you drive away from our bodies all sickness and all infirmity: Be present in your goodness with your servant N., that his weakness may be banished and his strength restored; and that, his health being renewed, he may bless your holy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For a Sick Child

Heavenly Father, watch with us over your child N., and grant that he may be restored to that perfect health which it is yours alone to give; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

or this

Lord Jesus Christ, Good Shepherd of the sheep, you gather the lambs in your arms and carry them in your bosom: We commend to your loving care this child N. Relieve his pain, guard him from all danger, restore to him your gifts of gladness and strength, and raise him up to a life of service to you. Hear us, we pray, for your dear Name's sake. Amen.

Before an Operation

Almighty God our heavenly Father, graciously comfort your servant N. in hishis cure. Fill his heart with confidence that, though at times he may be afraid, he yet may put his trust in you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. suffering, and bless the means made use of for

or this

Strengthen your servant N., O God, to do what he has to do and bear what hehe may be restored to usefulness in your world with a thankful heart; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. has to bear; that, accepting your healing gifts through the skill of surgeons and nurses,

For Strength and Confidence

Heavenly Father, giver of life and health: Comfort and relieve your sick servant N., and give your power of healing to those who minister to his needs, that hehis weakness and have confidence in your loving care; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. may be strengthened in

For the Sanctification of Illness

Sanctify, O Lord, the sickness of your servant N., that the sense of his weakness may add strength to his faith and seriousness to his repentance; and grant that he may live with you in everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For Health of Body and Soul

May God the Father bless you, God the Son heal you, God the Holy Spirit give you strength. May God the holy and undivided Trinity guard your body, save your soul, and bring you safely to his heavenly country; where he lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen.

For Doctors and Nurses

Sanctify, O Lord, those whom you have called to the study and practice of the arts of healing, and to the prevention of disease and pain. Strengthen them by your life-giving Spirit, that by their ministries the health of the community may be promoted and your creation glorified; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Thanksgiving for a Beginning of Recovery

O Lord, your compassions never fail and your mercies are new every morning: We give you thanks for giving our brother (sister) N. both relief from pain and hope of health renewed. Continue in him, we pray, the good work you have begun; that he, daily increasing in bodily strength, and rejoicing in your goodness, may so order his life and conduct that he may always think and do those things that please you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

---

The Healing Mass at Mall of Asia

We've heard about these healing masses months ago. Na feature na din sya sa Jessica Sojo Report. Kinuha pa nga namin yung mga contact numbers nila kasi gusto naming puntahan kaso walang time.

Last June, when we are watching Studio 23 Sunday TV Mass, we saw Fr. Mario Sobrejuanite. Maganda sya mag homily, palabiro, pero may mapupulot kang aral. Every end ng mass inaannounce nya na may healing mass daw si Fr. Fernando Suarez na gaganapin sa MOA on July 30, Monday at 3pm. Fr. Fernando Suarez is a very known Healing priest, sa Canada sya naka base. Pero pumupunta punta sya dito. Natuwa ako kasi baka eto na yung chance naming makapunta. So we set the date.

I’ve never been to Mall of Asia, sabi ko kay Mannix puntahan namin before mag Monday, so July 29, Sunday, pumunta kami just to know kung saan yung event. Sa Music Hall daw sa Entertainment Mall.

Monday, 7:00 am pa lang nakaligo na si Yvonne. By 9am nakaalis na kami ng bahay. Dumating kami sa MOA mga 10 mins before 10am. Madami na din ang tao… akala nga naming mauuna pa kami… pero tama lang ang dating namin. Umabot pa kami sa first 100 ng first batch. So pumila kami. Tapos may nag sabi sa amin na yung mga mag papa heal daw na naka wheel chair or Strollers, I papriority daw so iba ang ticket. Binigyan kami ng White ticket, isa sa akin at isa kay Yvonne. Sila mannix, byanan ko saka yaya ni Yvonne pumila sa red ticket. Then after namin makakuha ng ticket sabi pede daw muna kami magikot ikot at kumain ng lunch. Balik na lang kami by 12pm. Sa Center Stage Cinema na daw kami pumunta kasi magpapapasok na sila nun. So kumain na muna kami pero mga 12:30 na kami nakabalik. Pag akyat namin, ang haba na ng pila. Gosh.

Pila kami. Sabi ng mga nag aassist pila lang daw yun ng red Ticket. Sabi namin “San po ang pila ng white ticket?” “Naku mamaya pa yan papapasukin mga 3pm pa.” Ganon?! Naniwala naman ako, so tumabi muna kami. Pero ndi ako mapalagay. Sabi priority daw, saka 3pm ang start ng mass. Nag tanong kami ulit. Ganon pa din ang sinasabi nila, pila lang daw yun ng red Ticket. Naku! Kawawa naman si Yvonne, antagal naming inintay tong araw na toh tapos ndi makakaattend, ang aga pa naman naming dumating kanina mauna lang sa pila tapos ganito din pala. Mahigpit sila. Organized. Pero ndi yata lahat well informed.

Pero I really had this feeling na may mali eh. Pumunta kami ni Yvonne sa unahan ng pila. Tinanong ko kung san po ang pila ng White Ticket. Kasi ang sabi sa amin priority naman daw sila. Ndi naman sa nag papaimportante kami pero kung ndi lang sana ganon yung sinabi sa amin kanina eh di sana nakakuha kami ng red ticket. Kinulit ko yung mga nag aasist ng pila sa unahan. Then sinabi ko na yun yung pag kakainform sa amin kanina. Then sabi ni Mannix, cge mag red ticket na lang kami swap kami para lang makapasok si Yvonne. Thank God! May lumapit sa amin at sinabi pede na pumasok ang white ticket kasi priority yun. I really almost cried. I was relieved.

Pag pasok namin sa loob dun kami nakapila sa likod ng orchestra. Malapit lapit na kami sa dulo buti na lang nakaabot kami sa cutoff. Nakatayo lang ako pero okei lang. 1pm naka pasok na din sila mannix. Dun na sila sa pangatlong hilera.

Andaming tao puno ang loob ng cinema. All ages. From babies to oldies. May mga ndi makalakad, may mga naka stretchers pa nga daw. May mga bata na may Cerebral palsy, ung katabi ko baby din pero may butas ang ngala ngala. Ang hirap tandaan nung term sa sakit na yun. Wala ako nakita na same situation kay Yvonne.

All set na, si Fr. Suarez nalang inaantay. While waiting we were interviewed by a staff of ABC 5. Dun kasi yung Sunday TV Mass ni Fr. Suarez every Sunday at 1pm. Tinanong kung pano ba namin nalaman yung event, then questions about faith. Tapos kinukuhanan si Yvonne ng camera. Wow! Baka makita kami sa TV. Ehehehe.

At 3pm, Dumating na si Fr. Suarez at nag start na din ang mass. By his words, you will feel the Lord’s presence. And at the end of the mass he conducted a general healing prayer for all. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam. Enough na yun sa akin. I know naman na HE’s always with us, guiding and protecting us, and leading us to the right path towards Him. Pero may narealize ako, sabi ni Father “Ask and it will be given to you.” Though, God knows our heart’s desire, He waits for us to ask for it. And we should be hopeful that it would be given to us in His time.

After ng mass, nag start na din ang healing, past 4pm na din. Inuna na yung pila namin since ndi makakaakyat sa stage yugn mga naka wheel chair and strollers, kaya pinaprioritize. Yung mga naka wheel chairs pinapatayo ni Father after nyang hawakan yung mga parts na may sakit. And you will hear their testimonials. And you won’t believe na eto yung mga ndi makalakad kanina na nakaayat pa ng stage. At last, it’s our turn. He touches Yvonne while saying a prayer, then Mannix and me, then me and Yvonne. It’s a wonderful feeling. I was teary eyed. I know God touches us that minute through Fr. Suarez.

After the healing session, we went home with a whole spirit and hopeful that everything will be fine and will happen according to His plan for us.

It has been a long day for us. But I don’t feel tired. It’s worth all the effort.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." —Matthew 7:7–8

God wants us to come to him with our needs and desires. He tells us that if we would only ask and have faith, we would receive.

Lets make our life simple and happy :)

I believe everything happened for a reason. And everything happened because they are destined to happen. Though we still do not understand why, I am sure it is preparing us for something. Whatever trials we’ve been through it should not make us a less but a better person. We should learn from it. It should make us stronger.

Let us look at the bright side. As R.H. Schuller says, “Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost.” We have to stay positive whatever problem we may have. People have different burdens. Don’t ever think that yours is worst than the other. Don’t ever think you can’t handle them. Because in every trial, there’s always an answer, there’s always a helping hand and there’s always a lesson to learn.

It tests our faith and our whole being. The way we handle our problems reflects who we are. So why worry if you know things will be resolved when the right time comes. We just have to deal with it.

We may not have all our prayers answered. But a better plan is beginning to happen. We may not notice it because we are too focus on what we do not have instead on enjoying what we have. In result, we feel bad and unfulfilled. If people are only contented on what was given to them maybe life is simple and happy. But we are just human and we want everything else other people have because they are happy. We feel that if we have that “something” we will be happy. But we are not because we’re only human.

I can say that I am happy now. I have my Family, my husband, Mannix, and my daughter, Yvonne.

Mannix, of all people on the Internet, and I have met in a strange time on my life. I believe that we are destined to have each other. That was the time when I asked Him of the right person and he just popped out of nowhere. He’s a blessing in disguise and my knight in shining armor. He may not be the ideal guy but I can say he’s the perfect man for me.

Yvonne does not have everything but she have something that makes me happy. I do not wish her to be what she can’t be. I am just simply happy she’s there to make my day complete. I hear people say, “if only she can …”, If only I had the same thinking I’ll be very sad for her as a mother. But I don’t see it that way. She was given to us not to make our life difficult but to help us be closer to Him, to teach us to be humble, to help us see little miracles in life, and to make us realize how blessed we are to have her.

I also have a lot of things in mind. I have a lot of to-do list. I have a lot of plans and wants. But I have learned that things will just happen when the right time comes. We do not have to rush things. We should live one day at a time. And we should treasure what we have now and make the most out of it. Always count your blessings. Always look at the bright side. Be positive. That’s what I am applying in my life. Life is great. It is a gift from God.

Heaven's very special child

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
"It's time again for another birth,"
said the angels to the Lord above.
"This special child will need much love,

His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show
And He'll require extra care
From the folks he meets way down there.

He may not run or laugh or play ;
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please, Lord, find parents who
will do a special job for You.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from Heaven
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven's very special child

Thinking 'bout my purpose...

I woke up one day thinking about my purpose. I know everything that happened is well planned. I know that every little thing that is happening today is for the better. I know God has a plan for me. I may not know it right now. I may not understand it right now. But I believe and whole-heartedly trust in Him. Because He knows what’s best for everyone.

Flying colors

After graduating from high school, I made a promise, when I finish college I will make my parents be proud of me. I want them to feel that all their hard works were not wasted. Six semesters had past, I really did my best. But on my last year, I don’t know why, but I lost my focus. (Is it really I? Or my instructor who had the guts of failing the whole class for not passing a one-time oral exam to fill up her absences?) It’s graduation day when I realized, I’ve broken a promise. I could have been marching up that stage with flying colors. Regrets filled up my soul.

What can I do? So I let bygones be bygones. Later I realized landing on a good job earlier than I thought. He may not have given me what I wanted most but He gave me what I will love doing in the long run. Maybe that’s what He wanted me to realize. :)

Destiny

I am one of the so-called “Stupid in Love”. Let’s just say my past relationship was not healthy. My mind tells me to let go but my heart is still holding on. Until my whole being gave up, so I stopped struggling and go with the flow. Then I told Him, “Ok! I know you know better, so let Your Will be done.”

Time passed by. And out of nowhere there pop a message from a stranger. And that stranger changes everything. That stranger heals my broken heart and made me realized that there’s nothing wrong with me and it’s time to move on.

That stranger ends up being my hubby.

God has his own timetable. We just have to wait.

My Angel

I cried the whole night when I learned about the condition of my first-born child. So many questions asked with no answers. Why me? What did I do? Why her? But then I realized that one time I asked God to remind me of him always. May be this is His way of doing that. So I kept that in mind.

Trials were given to make us stronger. It's there for us to learn to appreciate every little thing that was given to us.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, “No, her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary”;

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how much you already have.

I may not have an ideal life, but I am contented with what I have. And I am happy.