Last October 2006, Yvonne was confined for 72 days for shunt revision-turned-replacement due to infection. This is very traumatic on her part since she lost her speech and vision.
Before that, we thought everything would be according to what we planned. We already scheduled her for a pedia development on November 2006.
We thought we could send her to a special school and for therapy after that because she’s already 4yrs old and doing very well.
But the saying says, “Expect the unexpected.”
We went home, after almost 3 months of confinement, starting all over again.
The doctors said her brain was damaged by the infection and they are not sure if she will recover from it. The brain will heal itself, maybe after 6 months, after a year or maybe not anymore.
She had signs of cerebral palsy; she drools because of her locked jaw (so I prepared blended food supplement for her every morning); she was unable to follow things with her eyes; she can’t talk nor smile nor even cry; she had no muscle control (she bites her lips most of the time, her hands were stiff and she can’t move it on her own.)
There was a long period of silence in our house. Sometimes, we watched her videos and tears keeps falling from our eyes. We missed her cry, her laughter, and her voice. We are looking forward to the day she laughs again.
Sometimes, there are many questions running at the back of my mind. What went wrong? Why did it all have to happen? Why her? Should we sue her surgeon and the hospital for medical malpractice? Do we need to do anything legally? Should we send her for a therapy for a faster recovery? I ask the Lord if I need to do anything? HE answered back “No! Just submit to my plan for you. If you will just trust me everything will be just fine.”
“There are things in LIFE that we question a lot, but little do we realize that answers come when we stop asking... and that's what we call FAITH...”
God really know how to send His message to us. That time, I saw some verses from the bible, saying something like we should trust the doctors for God has given them the talent to cure the wounded and the sick. I realized, maybe things must really happen for His plan for others to happen. I also realized, maybe it was just an eye opener for us. We maybe become too proud about ourselves that’s why He makes us kneel before Him and taught us to always be humble.
I once thought that contentment is the key to happiness but I was wrong. If we were so fulfilled with what we have, we might not need any help from Him. But God wanted us to need Him. He doesn’t want us to forget Him. So God gives us trials to remind us of Him, to remind us of His great love for us.
Being positive on everything that happened, I still think of all the good things that have happened during that time. She was alive. Her lungs were ok (the doctor said the lungs may fail as a side effect of anesthesia). We went home with her without NGT. The doctors removed it before we were discharged since she can already swallow her food (a blended milk supplement with boiled vegetables and fresh fruits). We also met so many people, patients, parents, nurses and doctors. Most of all, we felt closer to the Lord.
As days passed by, little by little, we saw some development on her. She can now eat her regular soft diet. She was able to control her hands. She already can point her nose, teeth and tongue when asked. She can now smile. Even her doctors were amazed with her.
But just last May 2007, due to sepsis, she was confined again at pediatric ICU for a week. Her heart rate and BP was dropping. The doctors didn’t know why. All kinds of test were done. She was referred to different medical fields; Pediatrics; Infectious; Pulmonary; Neurologist; Neuro-Surgeon; Ophthalmologist; but they still can’t find the main cause.
For the first few days, I was confident that everything would be fine. I trust the Lord fully. But maybe I was not praying too hard. The doctors admitted that they couldn’t do anything for Yvonne. There’s a possibility that her heart will just stop beating and they can’t do anything about it.
But God really knows how to make us kneel before Him. I cried a lot, thinking of the fact that we might loose her. That’s the time I finally submitted fully to Him. Not just praying for the healing of Yvonne but I finally gave her up to Him. Whatever is His plan for her and for us, I just let HIS will be done in our lives. If He decides to take Yvonne, we will be happy and will accept it. But if he would only give us another chance to prove to Him that we can be better parents to her, we will make the most out of it.
My husband, Mannix, was in New Zealand that time for training and project assignment. He was also worried and decided to go back.
As if God have showed us a miracle, Yvonne’s BP and heart rate have improved. Praise God! For He is really the Best doctor!
The doctors were still puzzled but rather send us home. Even before discharged, they still can’t explain why and what causes her BP to dropped. This is the first time we heard about the DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Letter as one of her doctor suggested us to sign. He said they might not know what to do when this happen again.
As soon as we got home, as if nothing happened, Yvonne showed us a big smile. She was happy she’s home. And we are too! That day she started to laugh again and even recovered her speech gradually. Amazing isn’t it?? Praise GOD for he is really great!
After 3 months, just last August 2007, she was again confined due to pneumonia at pediatric ICU. She was intubated for 7 days to help her breathe. The doctor said, due to her condition (Spina Bifida & Hydrocephalus & scoliosis), her lungs collapsed as they have little space to expand.
Our hospital stay was extended up to 3 weeks since the doctors can’t wean the oxygen support for Yvonne. Tough she was generally okay, no fever, no cold, no seizure, etc; they still cannot remove it since her oxygen was dropping based on the oximeter. Her lungs were still clogged by the pneumonia and she was having a hard time breathing.
Her doctor again gives us papers to sign, a letter of consent for Euthanasia or Mercy Killing. He explained to us that this is just an option for us and it is still up to us if we wanted to sign it. Since Yvonne was then supported with oxygen and we all know about her condition, this is just to shorten her sufferings. Another option they gave us is that we can go home with oxygen.
It was really hard for us to accept this fact but if it is really HIS will then who are we to disobey?? My husband and I talked about it openly and we cried together.
It has been four years. She gave us so much joy. We know time like this will come sooner or later. We just have to be ready. But only GOD has the right to decide whether to take her life or not. We decided not sign any consent. If we are to bring her home with oxygen, it’s fine with us as long as she is comfortable.
The next day, my husband went to Bambang to look for an oxygen tank. We also met the brother-in-law of my colleague that works in CIGI so we can rent a hassle-free oxygen concentrator. But God depicts another miracle; Yvonne can now breathe on her own and showed her doctor how strong she is. When the doctors saw her, they immediately send us home with two thumbs up!
Also during this time, Yvonne has cried again after ten months. This only means that her brain has improved a lot. And it takes two hospitalizations to bring these all back.
We were drained financially, emotionally and spiritually, but God has provided for us. With the help of all the people around us for support, we have survived.
We really felt how much God loves us. And this only proves that whatever is lost, as long as you trust God and hold on to Him until the end, He will give it back to you, even tripled. I have also learned that we don’t have to question why things happen. Lets just trust Him. His plan is better than ours. These trials make us a stronger person in preparation for His coming. :)
We know this will not be the last. But we don’t have to worry because when God is with us we can endure everything :) May God Bless us all !!!